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Archive for the 'zombies' Category
The Adventures of Matt Gondek, Freelance Artist VI
Published by May 15th, 2008 in Art, Career, culture, zombies, Advertising, Video Games, Underground and advice. 1 CommentUrkel, Cody, Corey Matthews…. T.G.I.F. to the MAX
Published by April 25th, 2008 in Art, zombies, Design, Artist and weekend. 0 CommentsIt’s Friday and I don’t feel like writing anything poignant today. Instead, heres a picture. It’s of new line of four shirts I created for Bambino clothing. I like when I finish big projects like this because:
A: Its nice to finish a big project and relax for a second
B: I have a new portfolio piece
3: I get that sweet cash
So yea. Have a good weekend.
Everyone Loves Oral
Published by April 24th, 2008 in Art, zombies, Design, Artist, Entrepreneurs, advice and mexican. 2 Comments
Here’s another hot tip from my brain I’m sharing w/ all you hard working freelancers out there.
It seems in my research, I’ve discovered you’ll do better with people if you actually talk to them over the phone versus busting them a fly email. Now, of course, face to face is the best medicine, but this tip applies to when it’s impossi-bull to meet them in real life.
The best way to go about this is to simply offer to call them to discuss business. Just let them know it’d be easier to discuss matters over the phone and ask for their number. You can offer yours and ask them to call you, but research shows (my research) that they’ll almost never call. BUT, they will answer when you call them.
It seems like common knowledge, but it took over a year for an idiot like me to realize this so I thought I’d share.
How to make infinity friends on myspace PART TWO
Published by April 23rd, 2008 in zombies, marketing, web, advice, computers and money. 0 CommentsUnless you’re the type to black out drunk and forget large chunks of your memory, you may recall me talking about how to get bum bum loads of friends on myspace the other day.
It brought up the argument that all the OTHER people on sites like this are ALSO trying to accumulate hoardes of friends and will probably never check out your page. However, it was decided that although this may be true, it would still be beinficial because you could send out bullitens to alert others of your goings on.
But, now I finally have a resolution to this matter. I didn’t realize this until last night, but if you have over 1,500 friends on myspace, they no longer show you bullitens. Something having to do w/ it taking up to much memory on their servers. Therefore, all those people you’re adding probably have more than 1,500 friends and are missing the bullitens anyways.
It seems that going to these sites and adding people is completely worthless, other than showing off that you have 60,000 friends. Diz-amn.
Well, now we know.
Give me money.
The Adventures of Matt Gondek, Freelance Artist V
Published by April 22nd, 2008 in Art, Career, zombies, Artist, vandalism, advice and facts. 5 Comments
I dropped off some paintings at a store that sells art last year. They had me sign a contract w/ them that seems pretty basic and layed out. My pants tightened at the thought of our smooth transaction and the newly aquired legal tenders I’d soon be getting dancing in my wallet. Their joyous float from my hand to the shopkeep as I exchanged them for goods and services was something I was quite looking forward to with deft anticipation.
A few months past. Thanksgiving… Christmas… and I never heard from them but never gave it more than a second thought as I tend to not distribute second thoughts so easily. It wasn’t until I was in the area last week dropping off some handmade comic book noise to the local stores that I noticed the store was now defunct. A big closed sign, flipping me the bird and booting my thin wallet right in the ass.
I snagged the contract and dailed the number on it. No answer. I left a message. No reply. I repeated this. Twice. Fuck. I am out two paintings.
The point is, before you sign something over to someone, be sure to have arrangements if something like this were to happen. Situations like they contact you if they’re going out of business, or if your item doesn’t sell. Don’t be a fool like Matt Gondek and leave your work to strangers with loose morals and sticky fingers.
The two paintings I left there retailed for around 180 million a piece, so I am out a considerable ammount of money.
How to make infinity friends on myspace
Published by April 17th, 2008 in Career, culture, zombies, marketing, Advertising, technology and computers. 7 CommentsRecently my roommmmmate allerted me about a whole online community of websites that allow you to cheat the system and aquire allot of myspace friends quickly.
Basically you go to one of these sites, punch in your myspace account ID to “log in”…. Then, you can send mass friend requests to a list of everyone else who is using the site at the same time. Each request you send earns you “points” which puts your account higher up the list. Thus, other people using the site will see you on this list and friend request you back.
Also, you can spend alittle cash to become a “VIP”. A VIP is always at the top of the list. In addition to this, other people are enticed to add you because you are worth more points. Sneaky sneaky.
At first I was pretty gosh-darned excited about this. I make a majority of my income off myspace and thought that this was a way to increase that ammout like whoa. Then I started thinking about what I was doing.
The people on this site are just trying to boost their number of friends. They’re going to add you and probably never even look at your account. If no one looks at your account, then no one is going to buy any artwork, or order a T Shirt. Sure, it looks great to potential clients to see you have a giant ammount of friends, but in the long run, all these people would have never even visited your account. They’re like “junk friends”.
My roommate brought up a valid argument however. If you have 30,000 myspace friends and you send out a bulliten, at least 100 of those people will look at it. If you’re using these bullitens to allert them of a new product you have, maybe one or two of them will buy it.
I’m still pretty torn on this matter. I don’t know if I want to devote the time to adding tons and tons of “junk friends” just to boost my numbers.
What do you think about this ?? Comments are appreciated.
Use words like “genitals” in your subject line to get people’s attention.
Published by April 11th, 2008 in zombies, marketing, Advertising, Commercials, Bumpkins, Violence, vandalism, Entrepreneurs, advice and facts. 0 Comments
All I can say is WOW. It seems this blog is getting MUCHO-POPULARO with the spambots!! They just CAN’T STOP leaving comments!!! How blessed can echoflip.com get? I don’t mean to brag, but I posted some of the comments below so you guys can share in my joy and happiness.
The open-jerk-face sandwhich spambot at best-global-hotels.com/hotels writes:
“I found your blog via Google while searching for six star hotels and your post regarding yourself in Gaylord Palms at echoflip.com looks very interesting to me. I have seen many sites before and most of them do not look this good. I cannot wait to let my friends know about this site. Thanks for the excellent content.”
Thank you so much spambot! Even though my blog post was making fun of the name of the hotel, I’m glad that you and your friends are benifiting from my obviously amazing site layout and excellent content!! Suck an egg!
The shouldn’t get out of bed in the morning because I suck so hard spambot at myyoungerlookingskin.net writes:I couldn’t understand some parts of this article amid.gov at echoflip.com, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.
Sorry there spambot. I know that I use allot of big words and I honestly hope that you can find some more resources to de-code my 4th grade writing level.
The I hope you choke on your fist in your sleep spambot at wikisources.net writes:
Hello webmaster your Artikle dventures of Matt Gondek, Freelance Artist IV at echoflip.com ist very intresting!
Thanks allot spambot! I’m glad you thought my “artikle ist vey interesting!!! Learn to spell asshole!
I hope the rest of you blog owners out there can read this and not get THAT jelous. You’ll be as cool as we are someday w/ practice.
P.s. Turtles can breathe out of their behind.
Lose Money Online
Published by April 10th, 2008 in zombies, technology, Music, Reviews, advice and computers. 4 Comments
I am a proud owner of an IPod Touch. Although it’s sexiness is equal to or lesser than that of myself, I often find it a pain to use the onscreen keypad. Especially when I’ve been drinking.
That’s why my eye’s exploded in joy the day I stumbled upon a product online called “My Touch Keys”. It’s a decal that goes over the Pod’s touch screen and makes it easier to type. Or so I thought.
50,000 days after I ordered the My Touch Keys, they arrived in the mail. The decal has little holes punched out where the keys would be if your typing. After using the stupid online video (for fun) to help apply it I almost immediately hated it. It didn’t help me at all, and no matter what, I couldn’t get all the tiny little bubbles out from behind the decal.
So, I ripped it off post haste, only to discover that it left an imprint on my screen. Although it was easily wiped off, my frown wasn’t. It was probably the worst $8 purchase I’ve seen in months (besides the lemon scented toilet paper).
If you’re thinking about picking up one of these, don’t. Or at very least contact me and I’ll sell you mine for next to nothing. I just want to get this stupid idea out of my house.
I’m here for the sounds, not the pounds
Published by April 9th, 2008 in Gondek, culture, zombies, Hillbillies, Bumpkins, Music, china buffet and health. 0 Comments
Dear Fat Girl Standing beside me at the Day to Remember show.
Hello there. It’s been awhile hasn’t it? It was very nice standing beside you at the show a few weeks ago. Thank you so much for singing every effing word of every damn song as loud as you could and off key. I am sitting here torn miss… you see, I can’t decide which I enjoyed more. You’re miserable attempt of trying to sing the screaming parts in between bites of your cheddar cheese pretzel, or your giant flabby sweat soaked arm pressing against my side. It shows real character to keep singing, even though every single person near us was glaring at you.
I don’t know what I’d do without people like you at shows. I mean, sure I went to see the band perform, but hearing you instead was totally better. I have been contimplating fronting the money for alittle studio time for you. That way I could get you in there to sing overtop the vocals so I could enjoy it again and again. If only there was a way to make the disc smell like cheddar cheese and cigarettes. Do you have any suggestions?
In closing, it was my pleasure to spend 40 minutes standing beside you. I hope I can meet you again sometime so that you can ruin another experience for me.
Love,
Matthew Ryan Gondek
Peace Out Stinkface
Published by April 4th, 2008 in zombies, Community, Bumpkins, books and america. 0 Comments
I thought of a great book idea for children. A corner of the market that is virtually untapped and just BEGGING for representation.
Urban youth with goofy nicknames that actually don’t like being called said nickname.
I present to you my book idea, called “Peace out Stinkface”. It’s about a young boy who wants to leave his community because all his friends and family call him Stinkface. He doesn’t know it, but everyone calls him that affectionately. Ol’ Stinkface decides that he is going to run away due to the intense morose and turmoil he experiences daily, and lets some of his schoolyard chums know about his upcoming plans.
The chums devise a super sneaky going away party w/ balloons, cake, banners, and the finest tracks from the first Kris Kross album. When the party is sprung on Stinkface, he is taken back by the generousity and genuine sadness that his friends are dealing with due to his upcoming departure. This confuses him at first, but during the Kris Kross song “I missed the bus” he realizes that although he might have “a dumb ol’ nickname”, his friends and peers actually do care for him… even his teacher Mrs. Bucketbeard.
Stinkface realizes that moving away would be the wrong thing to do since he is already surrounded by people who admire and care for him. It’s a truly heartwarming tale that will teach the lads and lasses about the effects of namecalling, and also to put yourself in the shoes of the aggressor.
P.S. Yes this post’s artwork is a Matt Gondek original, thank you for asking.
