Archive for the 'Violence' Category

Use words like “genitals” in your subject line to get people’s attention.

Published by Matt Gondek April 11th, 2008 in zombies, marketing, Advertising, Commercials, Bumpkins, Violence, vandalism, Entrepreneurs, advice and facts. 0 Comments

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All I can say is WOW. It seems this blog is getting MUCHO-POPULARO with the spambots!! They just CAN’T STOP leaving comments!!! How blessed can echoflip.com get? I don’t mean to brag, but I posted some of the comments below so you guys can share in my joy and happiness.

The open-jerk-face sandwhich spambot at best-global-hotels.com/hotels writes:
“I found your blog via Google while searching for six star hotels and your post regarding yourself in Gaylord Palms at echoflip.com looks very interesting to me. I have seen many sites before and most of them do not look this good. I cannot wait to let my friends know about this site. Thanks for the excellent content.”

Thank you so much spambot! Even though my blog post was making fun of the name of the hotel, I’m glad that you and your friends are benifiting from my obviously amazing site layout and excellent content!! Suck an egg!

 The shouldn’t get out of bed in the morning because I suck so hard spambot at myyoungerlookingskin.net writes:I couldn’t understand some parts of this article amid.gov at echoflip.com, but I guess I just need to check some more resources regarding this, because it sounds interesting.


Sorry there spambot. I know that I use allot of big words and I honestly hope that you can find some more resources to de-code my 4th grade writing level.

The I hope you choke on your fist in your sleep spambot at wikisources.net writes:
Hello webmaster your Artikle dventures of Matt Gondek, Freelance Artist IV at echoflip.com ist very intresting!
Thanks allot spambot! I’m glad you thought my “artikle ist vey interesting!!! Learn to spell asshole!

I hope the rest of you blog owners out there can read this and not get THAT jelous. You’ll be as cool as we are someday w/ practice.

P.s. Turtles can breathe out of their behind.

An awkward conversation with the movie “Shrooms” at the mall food court

Published by Matt Gondek April 2nd, 2008 in movies, zombies, Violence, DVD and DVD's. 2 Comments

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Shrooms Movie:  “Hey! Hey dude! Come here a second”

Me: “Ugh… hey .. man. What’s going on.”

Shrooms Movie:  “Yoooo dude, you gotta check me out. Check this.. I’m like the Blair Witch Project… but like, on ACID man”

Me: “ooh… um.. that’s cool dude.. Um.. I actually already seen you though”

Shrooms Movie:  “Niiiice. What did you think man? Did I blow your mind or what? How about my twist ending?”

Me: “…..yea. Pretty crazy i guess…

Shrooms Movie: “I know, right? I mean, I know I was supposed to come out in theatres, but they figured, Hell, lets just send me right to DVD you know what I’m sayin? But I’m tooootally cool though you know, cuz I’m all about drugs and ghosts and stuff.”

Me: “yea… you’re so well written…too”

Shrooms Movie: “For sure my man. I bet you never thought another teenager horror flick that takes place in the woods, has lots of blood, and bad special effects could be so cool right? Right? Well, hey dude, I gotta run. Me n’ The Ring 2 are supposed to go meet up and play hackey sack”

Me: “Later………fag”

P.E.T.A. (Poonanies earn top attention)

Published by Matt Gondek January 31st, 2008 in culture, Violence, advice, animals, food and nutrition. 6 Comments

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 I HATE PETA. I HATE THEM.

I ALWAYS HAVE. Ever since I was younger and playing shows with my old band, those D Bags would come to the shows and pass out those stupid fliers and stickers and stuff.

When I went to the Warped Tour, at least thirty of them would try to cry on my shoulder throughout the day when all I wanted was to listen to the Bouncing Souls.

So what got me so mad this time? Go to the MAIN page of their website… PETA.ORG.   There you can watch a video called “State of the Union Undress”. It’s a four of five minute video where a girl talks about how bad it is to eat meat while she gets COMPLETELY NAKED. I’m not kidding. You see EVERYTHING. How many millions of kids are going to watch this just to see this girl naked… Meanwhile, she’s filling their heads with PETA propaganda. Worst, she undressed REAAALLY slow and their is no fast forward button, so of course you’re going to sit through the entire thing. I can’t believe a MAJOR organization is using nudity now to convey their message.

If you are going to go watch the video, I recomend turning the sound completely off. That way you can screw over PETA by getting the free nudity, but not paying the admission of their B.S.

While you’re watching this dumb girl stripping in silence, you can think about some of the reasons I HATE PETA.

PETA is against ANY AND ALL medicines that use animals. They want to get rid off all animal testing to make new medicines that will save human lives. However, their vice president takes insulin every day to live. A medicine tested on, and made from, ANIMALS.

During 9/11, Peta wanted to pull volunteers from searching for HUMANS that were trapped and dying in the buildings to go search for dogs and cats.

They fund terrorists. These terrorists BLOW UP and DESTROY buildings where people work.

PETA doesn’t believe that any animal EVER should die, however, they themselves KILL animals right inside their main offices. They have a giant freezer in the office to STORE THE ANIMALS THEY KILL.

The vans PETA drives around has tackle boxes inside full of injections they use to kill animals. PETA went to trail for using these tackle boxes, then dumping the bodies in dumpsters.

PETA doens’t think animals should be used to help humans in any way at all. Goodbye seeing eye dogs, bomb sniffing dogs, drug sniffing dogs….

These are just a handfull of FACTS about Peta. You can learn and see more about how much ass they suck at:

www.anti-peta.com/ 
www.petakillsanimals.com

Audio Num Nums (can anyone play the drums?)

Published by Matt Gondek January 15th, 2008 in zombies, Advertising, Violence, Rock, Punk and Rap. 2 Comments

Doughnuts in November, the hottest band in Mexico, has finally released 5 brand new songs on American soil.

Best of all, you can download each and every one of them FREE by going to
myspace.com/doughnutsinnovemberrocks.

The five track EP includes the following instant classics:

Zombies Ate My Neighbors
Sweet Tea
Johnny Quest
Shank Jeremy Shank
Never Grow Up

Each song promises minutes of listening, complete with various instruments playing at the same time.Vocals are added over these instruments as well. YOU DON’T WANT TO MISS IT!

MOOOORTAL KOOOOMBAT!

Published by Matt Gondek December 21st, 2007 in Redneck and Violence. 1 Comment

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When I was about 14 or 15, and the game Mortal Kombat was at the height of it’s popularity, a live show came threw my home town of Johnstown, Pennsylvania. My mom wouldn’t let me go at the time for some reason or another, and I was pretty furious about it.

Then my friend Benny (another native of Johnstown) sent me this link today. It looks like Mortal Kombat came through my town AGAIN and once again I missed it. Boy am I mad. Anyways, click the link below to read about the event that I missed. It sounds pretty grusome and WAY more intense than the first live show. I must really be out of the loop too, because as I was reading the article, I wasn’t familiar with any of the characters it mentioned. At least they still do the fatalities.

http://www.wpxi.com/news/14895703/detail.html

p.s. no seriously, click that link and read it.

New Albums of 08′

Published by Matt Gondek December 20th, 2007 in Fun, culture, Advertising, World, Violence, Capitalism, Tourism, Rock, future, china buffet and facts. 1 Comment

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There are alot of new albums coming out next year, but only one you’ll need to care about. The band Doughnuts in November will be releasing their MUCH anticipated record here on American soil early next year. Up to this point, all their releases have only been available in their native land of Mexico. That all changed last month, when a merger between two of the biggest record companies in the business took place, allowing music from other countries into ours.

These actions did not come without sacrifices. Already losing two band members in the past, (Freddy Loser in a vicious knife fight outside a local club, and Dead End to malaria) Doughnuts in November had to be literally sneaked out of the country due to a public outcry of traitorism when they found out they were coming to America to record. The day before their 4 week burro ride across the border, the lead singer of DIN, Doug Dickens, almost was fatally wounded when an unknown assailant rigged his burrito with explosives. Fortunately, Doug was to busy pleasuring one of their numerous groupies and had skipped on lunch. The burrito detonated in his refridgerator and no one was injured. Another account saw their drummer, Astella Dios, with a three day hospital stay due to an attack from a moltov cocktail, which was dropped from a bridge while he was passing underneath in his camaro. The attacker was caught two days later by fellow band mates Finish Line and Maximum Buick, and was severly beaten. Courts ruled in DIN’s favor, and Finish and Maximum were let two with a paltry fine of 40 pesos and three hours of community service. The last, and most outrageous feat to stop the band was to their sole roadie, El Roadie Diablo Negro, from foreign dignitaries. While America and Mexico were discussing the merger, Europe, whom also wanted rights to DIN, invited El Roadie to an “all inclusive” vacation celebrating their success. However, upon arriving to Europe, El Roadie was quickly siezed and his four groupies (which is the standard number which accompany any member of DIN at all times) were shot on sight. Taken to a remote location, El Roadie was tortured within a mere fraction of his life for nearly four weeks for any information that would result in the inner colapse of the band. Standing fast, El Roadie endured hours of beatings, water torture, and starvation daily but never broke. He finally escaped after a clumsy guard forgot to re-tie one of his hands. El Roadie managed to untie himself and escape, but not before taking the lives of no less than 14 European guards, 3 horses, and 18 children.

Through much struggle comes much benifit however, as predictions claim that their album will be no doubt, the smash success of 2008 and possibly the first quarter of 2009. With a very grueling tour lined up of “at least 7 shows” next year, the album is expected to make the band 10’s of dollars. Stay tuned for further updates on the release of the album.

Super Sexy Halloween Photoshoot

Published by Matt Gondek October 29th, 2007 in Uncategorized, Fun, culture, Advertising and Violence. 0 Comments

Yesterday I went to my friend Jon’s house to take place in a sexy Halloween photoshoot. Jon is an independant film-maker and photographer. The shoot involved me as the killer clown =O) and KP, who was tied to a chair and gettin’ some killin’ done to her.

I’m not a big fan of gore or violence at all, so this really wasn’t my bag, but it was still fun to wear all that crazy makeup stuff and goof off for a bit. KP had it alot worse than I did, being tied up and having fake blood all over her. Jon took alot of shots involving a butcher knife, a scythe, and a hook on a handle, all dangerously close to KP.

All in all, it was a cool time, and Jon paid us handsomely with a delicious pasta dish. My belly grew full with our earnings!
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Jesus demands money for virtual tour of his crib

Published by Matt Gondek June 11th, 2007 in Fun, marketing, Advertising, technology, Religion, PS3, Video Games, Sony, Violence and Manchester. 0 Comments

manchester_church_aw06_215.jpgSony has been called irresonsible for using the Manchester Church in England without their permission.

 The church of England is claiming sony didn’t asked permission for using the church in the PS3 game “Resistance: Fall of Man”, and is demanding a public appology and a large donation.

 They’re angry because at one point in the game, there is a shootout where 100’s of people die inside the cathedral. It’s actually a pretty decent part of the game in my opinion.

 The reason they are making such a big deal about all of this is because Manchester is known for it’s history of gun crime, and the tens of thousands that have died there due to firearms.

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