Archive for the 'lifestyle' Category

Pot calling the weed black

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Glaucoma and Cancer patients sure are lazy. Sure, they get all the medicinal marijuana they want, but now they don’t even have to drive around for a half hour in the bad part of town to get it. They can just use a vending machine.

2 vending machines that dispense medicininal marijuana opened in LA yesterday. Don’t think you can just walk up and get some though… The machines are in stand alone rooms and protected by security guards. To use one, you’ll need proof of your prescription, get fingerprinted, and have a pre-payed credit card thats loaded with your dosage. In the future, the machines also plan to sell Viagra, Vicodin, and Propecia.

Nuts

Honk For Sugar

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Today I’d like to write about the greatest American made movie in the history of cinema. It’s called Big Money Hustla’s. The move came out in 2000, and stars rap stars, The Insane Clown Posse.

The movie follows hero Sugar Bear (played by Shaggy 2 Dope) as a San Francisco cop hunting down the king of the criminal underworld, Big Baby Sweets (played by Violent J). I wish I could write more about the plotline, but I can’t seem to remember what it was about, most likely because I was in entire awe of the acting, directing, and engaging story.

Actually, this movie is a piece of shit, and the only reason I’m writing about it is because I’m pissed off at Taco Bell. You see, where I live, Taco Bell is the leading employeer of Juggalos (fans of ICP who dress like them and have extremely large decals of their logo on the back of their pickup trucks). Due to this, it is practically impossible to enjoy any form of taco bell in a timely manner. There are only two places I’ve ever seen Juggalos. Taco Bell and the Mall. Especially if the mall has a Taco Bell inside it. I believe they consider it some sort of command center.

Here is a review written by a fan on RottenTomatoes.com
“BIG MONEY HUSTLAS POSSABLY ONE OF THE BEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME THEY HAD TO PAY FOR THIS MOVIE OUT OF THERE OWN POCKETS”.
You can see by this fan’s rampant and almost dangerous use of cap lock, coupled with their spelling and sentence structure, that Juggalos are regarded as valuable members of society. As for the paying out of their own pockets, Violent J had to use $100,000 of his own cash when their record label refused to give them any more money for this piece of shit.  They didn’t pay for the ENTIRE thing themselves. In their defense, he has $100,000 and I don’t.

Also, ICP glorifies the soft Drink “Faygo”, which makes me mad too. I think that if they glorified something more substantial, like a work ethic, that we’d all be better off. This way, we’d be able to avoid Taco Bell’s “fast food” lies and I could actually viva gordita in a timely manner.

In conclusion, if you don’t want me to write a five paragraph rant in my head about how much you suck while sitting in the drive thru lane, please don’t make me wait for a burrito.

How to Display your Art on the Web

http://www.creepmachine.com/articles/best-ways-to-show-your-art-on-the-web.html

Here is a link to a great article that gives some tips on the best ways to show your art online. Once you read the article, browse around the rest of creepmachne.com a bit. They got some great content on artists and other interesting things.

Also, since it’s almost the weekend, here’s some fun photos to put a smile on your face and a giggle in your waste. Enjoi

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The World Without Us

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http://www.worldwithoutus.com/

Over the weekend, I picked up this amazing book by Alan Weisman. The book goes into extreme detail to describe what would happen to the Earth after humans became extint. However, the unique thing is that it is written in such a way that instead of us dying off from some nuclear blast or anything, it pretends we just vanished one day.

The book helps to remind us that with all our technoligic advancements and paving over everything, underneath it all, we’re still living atop a giant living world. It tells how the Earth would pretty much “swallow us up” after we’re gone. Here’s some exerts from the book:

In two days after we’re gone, New York’s subways systems would impassibly flood due to no one running the pumps.

In one week, the emergency fuel supply to deisel generators that circulate cooling water to nuclear reactor cores would run out.

In one year, animals would begin to return to the sites of nuclear reactors. Human head and body lice would die.

In 3 years with no heat, pipes would burst all over town. Cockroaches would die due to the cold.

There is alot more of these on the site to check out. I recommend picking up this book. It’s a real eye opener on how insignificant we really are in the long run.

Blake ZOmbies =-O

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Resident Evil is awesome. When the 2nd one came out, it was the reason I bought a playstation. I really don’t play /like/ or follow alot of games, but series still has me excited.

That’s why when I downloaded the trailer for the new Resident Evil 5 game coming out soon, I was crazy pumped. It takes place in Africa and looks freaking incredible. I can’t even describe how fun this game looks.

The entire time I was watching the trailer I didn’t even think once to myself “Wait… all the enemies he’s shooting are black”.

I didn’t even realize it was such a problem until today when I jumped on the internet and started just poking around for additional info for the game (nerd), when I stumbled upon all this racist B.S.

Alot of people are real upset that the new game takes place in Africa, and the main character, who is white, is fighting black people. Umm… who the F cares?

There has been like 4,000 Resident Evil games. I’m GLAD the new one is in Africa. I’m tired of fighting these things in mansions and in cities. The last game took place in Spain. You spent the ENTIRE game killing Spaniards. What about other video game series? Why didn’t anyone cry when the main character, whose Black, in Grand Theft Auto blew away all those white enemies?

The only people who are going to bitch about this are the ones who don’t like video games, or know the story behind this series. It’s an obvious progression in the series’ story, but people don’t see that. They see a white person shooting black people. Don’t you think it’s a bit racist to see this trailer, and instead of seeing the game for what it is, misconstrue the whole idea in the first place? Some peoples’ kids.

If ANYTHING, it’s racist against zombies.
 

Random things from this past week

As I go about my week, alot of different ideas for blog posts pop into my head. Unfortunately, not all of them can be fleshed out into a complete post. Therefore, I just mushed them all together, and got away with not having an actual decent post today. Hooray!

untitled.bmpScientists found this new breed of delicious looking Jelly Fish 3 miles under the ocean! I’m no oceanologist, but it looks comprised of an upper level of grape jelly. From there, we see the body, which is most likely some sort of orange glazed crab meat flavor, with just a hint of butter. Add that whole taste sensation, coupled with those crazy chinese noodle things dangling off of it, and you got yourself on hell of a dinner! There is a store in my hometown that sells diving equipment… I plan to go this weekend.

On my drive to work today, there was a blind man walking down the street with a seeing eye dog. He was dressed in a full suit… but his tie was crooked. It was so sad and funny at the same time.

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This is one of the two new shirt designs I did for the band “The Devil Wears Prada”. You can pick one up on their current tour with Chiodos… if you’re into that sort of thing.

All carrots were purple until the 17th century. Look it up

I have been working at my current job for 8 months, and every Thursday this one guy says to me “Is it Friday yet?”. Then he LAUGHS. Not conversational courtesy laugh like I have to do when he says it. This ol’ boy LAUGHS and LAUGHS and LAUGHS. He loves it. I want to be him.

Studies show the leading cause of pedophilia is sexy kids

Doughnuts and Art 2.0

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The time has come. The Event of the Summer Season is fast approaching. Every day, it edges closer and closer, until finally engulfing every inch of your being. Drowning you in pure joy.

 Of course I’m talking about Doughnuts and Art 2.0

MORE Artists, MORE Bands, MORE Dancing, MORE doughnuts than the original. All cram-packed into one monumental event with the low low price of $2. Where will you be Saturday night? One of the lucky ones? Or, will you be one of the countless faces awash with sorrow and grief, knowing that the one oppurtunity in your entire existance to feel what we call “love” has passed you by? A mere shell of your former self, forever searching for that feeling but knowing inside that you’ll never find it.

Musical performances by local hero Adam Rauf, the Legendary Pittsburgh dance machine PFunkt, the mexican sensation now ready to take over the United States “Doughnuts in November”, and the arena rocking, you probably heard them in the movie theatre or on Serious Satellite Radio, Ape Fight!

After you eyes and ears have overloaded on sensual ecstacy from the art and music performances, shake off those delectable doughnut calories at the end-cap of the evening. The mother lovin’ dance party hosted by Adammm vs. Sasquatch.

 All this and so much more this Saturday night at the Creative Treehouse located conviently in Bellevue Pennsylvania. Doors at 6PM. $2 Admittance fee. 18+, BYOB (21+ to drink), lets all get drunk and have a good time.

www.doughnutsandart.com    for more information.

Creative Treehouse
517 Lincoln Ave. 2nd Floor
Bellevue, PA 15202

Krunk or Punk? The right kind of music for yins kids.

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Underground music is, in the easiest way to describe it, music by bands and artists that have yet to get famous and break into the mainstream. To most younger people, it’s considered cool to listen to only underground bands, and anything that plays on the radio is lame.

What most young people don’t understand is that most underground music has so much commercial backing now, that they are actually feeding the mainstream culture they are trying to avoid. All the major record labels have subsidiary labels that sponsor and fund “underground” bands. Now you can go into the mall and buy t-shirts from underground bands, and they are usually more readily available than a Godsmack or a Nickleback shirt. Selling and promoting “Underground” music is a GIGANTIC business. Isn’t the core ethics behind Underground D.I.Y. music about avoiding all the commercialism? I’m not saying that I don’t support this kind of music or these bands, because to me, I really like most of it. What I’m saying is that all these people need to wake up and realize that they are not being “punk” or “keeping it real”, because they’re not… Dawg.

If you break it down, there are four different kinds of music that young people listen to. They are Rap, Rock, Country, and Techno. Country and Techno suck, so let’s forget about them. That leaves the two major genres… rock and rap.

Rock bands’ songs are usually about how hard life is or about a girl they can’t have. To be famous in this genre, it’s important to be as good looking as possible. Look at Fallout Boy. I was once in a taco bell and overheard a fourteen or so year old girl say “When Pete (their bassist) came onstage, my vagina exploded”. It doesn’t matter what you wear. As long as your looking good wearing it. How many fat rock stars do you see on TV? Once your band makes it famous, your core audience will drop you because you’re a sell out.

 

Rap artists’ songs are usually about how easy life is or about having too many girls. To be famous in this genre, your personal looks are not important. Look at Ludicris. He’s about 90 pounds and most of it is his ears. Or Fat Joe..  It’s all about what you wear. Once you become famous, your core audience will still love you, and you will finally get the respect you deserve. Another perk about being a rapper, is that even after you die, you can still continue to release records from beyond the grave for years to come.

 

So, you have to decide for yourself, which is more important to me? An artist you can like now, and hope that they don’t get famous because you’ll have to listen to someone else, or an artist who is ugly but you can like forever?

FLUX

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Flux is an art show that happens a couple times a year in Pittsburgh. This Flux took place on Smithfield Street downtown.  The bad part about the placement of this Flux was that about 200 feet down the road, Pittsburgh was holding thier annual gay and lesbian pride festival, and since there weren’t alot of signs indicating which one was which, you can guess where we accidently stumbled at first.

The cross dresser informed us that Flux was down the street alittle bit, so off we went. After the $10 entrance fee, we were well on our way to our art adventure. A short elevator ride later, and we found ourselves on the third floor of a building adorned with celophane wrapped around all the support beams blocking off certain areas and creating make-shift walls.
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Flux had alot of bands, artwork on display, and even fun stuff like this guy here painting a giant mural during the show. Some of the more notable acts we seen were a band called Ameoba Knieval, which was a band with a lead singer dressed up like you know who, and a DJ called PFunkt. PFunkt was amazing, and he alone was well worth the $10 entrance fee into the event. He sang songs about sexercise and well.. more songs about sex. Behind him was a giant video screen with videos that accompanied the songs he was singing. Watching him was a really good time.

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There were alot of people on the two floors the show took up, which made it very hot.  There were alot of volunteers working there, but for the most part, they just seemed to be getting in the way. All in all, it was a really great event, and definately better than the Three River’s Arts Festival which was held the same day.

Wiitis!!

Dr. Mario is about to be working overtime. It seems like more and more people are going to the doctors with cases of “wow I moved for the first time in months and now I’m sore”… I mean “Wiitis”.

 Now that Nintendo’s new game system , the Wii, actually requires you to move your body to play the games, thousands of lazy kids across the country are pulling muscles or cramping up from hours of trying to save the princess.

 Doesn’t anyone remember the Nintendo power glove, or the running mat? Do you remember anyone crying about using them? Kids today are too soft! If I even invent a video game system, it will involve headbutting a giant metal gong to push the jump button, and you will have to pull a lever that punches you in the face if you want to beat the level.


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