Over the weekend, I travelled to Mount Pleasent PA to help my girlfriend and her mom set up and run a yard sale.
On the trip up there I wasn’t paying attention and missed the exit, resulting in getting lost. I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions, but the two kids working there ended up getting me more lost.
As I drove in the middle of nowhere, I spied a bar on the side of the road, so I pulled over and went in to ask for directions.
It was around 8PM, and there wasn’t anyone in the bar yet, except for the bartender. I explained my situation, and he proceeded to give me directions.
However, about halfway through this, his co worker came out of the back and all of the sudden I lost train of thought and could no longer concentrate.
Turns out I was in a gay bar. The guy from the back had to be at least fifty years old and about fifty pounds overweight. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Instead he had leather straps that crossed over his chest and were attached by a big metal ring. He wasn’t wearing pants either. Only a tiny leather bikini.
Two weeks ago when my band, Doughnuts in November, robbed a laundymat to help fund a bus trip to Vermont to see the 5th annual beard and moustache competition we never thought we would get caught.
Having pockets full of all those heavy quarters proved to be a bad idea as the police nabbed us only fifteen feet out of the door. Nothing says embarrising like having your pants fall down in front of a gang of old women and your hands cuffed behind your back.
Due to a loophole in the system however, we managed to get off with only 45 minutes of community service. We will all be serving our musical sentence tomorrow night, Friday the 4th at the Shefield Bowling Alley in Aliquippa PA. My band will preforming around 10:00PM in the eastern time zone. Come out and see 5 grown men in masks singing songs about fat girls and dinosaurs.
Recently, on a Saturday shopping trip to the Southside of Pittsburgh, Slacker on Carson caught my eye and I just had to go in. In addition to the funky magazines, many incense, body jewelry, and um didlos, you can find an assortment of fun clothes and accessories. I picked myself up a funky gold yakpak that depicts razor blades (matt had to tell me what they were). Its a really rad store. i recommend you go there and check out their stuff. you’ve got nothing to lose, they dont even charge tax!!! it doesn’t get much better than that!
Oh boy what a year it’s been huh? I keep a calendar at work, and each day I write down what I did the day before. I guess it’s my way of keeping a journal. Anyways, no one’s going to care at all about this, but I’m going to write about my year, so I can read this in the future and reflect about all the good times I had in ’07. So, in closing, don’t read this then complain that I wasted your time, because I wrote it for myself.
January:
I started off this year on my computer making a logo for Shinyfire.com. It was a squid lying on top of an Ipod, which was used to glorify our weekly pod cast. I also did two tiny paintings… one of King Hippo from Nintendo’s Punch Out!, and one of a drunk elephant. One Saturday night, I went over to my pal Gary’s house to play a fine game of Bastard ball, which is two teams each standing on opposite ends of a racquetball court. You get points by nailing the other team with the balls that are thrown at them. I also went to Southside w/ my pal Roadie and Mosley’s ex girlfriend Emily. This turned out to be a pretty awkward evening due to a drunken horny Roadie and Emily wanting nothing at all to do w/ him. I also made a disco dancing zombie in Illustrator which would later be used for a hoodie design. I also made a custom Valentines Day card for the upcoming holiday. I acquired an old painting at a thrift store in a big golden frame, so I painted a big blue guarding angel gangster on it. The painting is currently on display at Pack Rat in Southside Pittsburgh.
February:
The band “The Mikeys” contacted me to do a T Shirt and Sticker design for them, so I worked on those. I also did a tiny little painting of a boxer with a cityscape behind him. I also did my first public art show at the Creative Treehouse in
Bellevue. The trick was, all the artists had 24 hours to create a piece to be shown in the reception the next day. I painted a blue elephant with a tree growing out of the mouth on its back. The painting is now in California somewhere in some girl’s house that bought it off myspace. I also discovered an amazing drink, Volcanos, when KP, Tim, Benny, and I went out for a night on the town. Tim was testing out his new beard, which didn’t seem to go over well since he doesn’t have it any more. I also did a painting called “Husky Diver” which was a boy octopus sad over a lady pus.
March:
I cut out a big monster face with a word bubble saying MattGondek.com to hang at my art shows. I also bought a new slick computer monitor that is all flat, big, and sexy. I picked up a good book called “The Road” by Cormack McCarthy. It tells the story about a boy and his father walking south after the “end of the world”, which you are lead to believe is from some sort of nuclear attack. I did my first T Shirt for someone else this month too. I made it for Captive Clothing, which turned out to kind of suck in the end. I also designed a skate deck that is collecting dust in my bedroom. Since it was getting warmer out, I picked up a grill and had a cookout which was a nice way to relax after my art show at Peter’s Pub in
Oakland. For the show, I did two new pieces.. One was of Ronald McDonald squeezing his nipple milk to feed some crows, and the other was of God calling a bunch of stone statues “EskiSluts”. I also got stickers made!
April:
My friend Mosley and I organized our first art show this month. Called “Doughnuts and Art”, it was a collection of artists and bands and took place at the Creative Treehouse in Bellview. My band “Doughnuts in November” played there, and I also brought along some new pieces I made for the show. The first was of a confused octopus that some DJ in
California bought. Secondly, I did a piece called Swallows, which is now in France somewhere. It’s of a little angel baby getting attacked by an alligator. Lastly, I did a doughnut themed piece of monsters and elephants. On 4/20, four of my friends celebrated a birthday, so we all took a limo downtown to Buckheads to celebrate. The night ended w/ me losing my cell phone forever, Sean falling off a giant speaker, and an entire leg of lamb which was bought at at a little gyro shop. We ate the lamb that entire weekend, during the birthday party / Beer Olympics. I also started a now nine foot long drawing called Super Husky World, and began work on a painting of zombies fighting robots fighting dinosaurs for the cover of “A Rein of Haven’s” CD. Lastly, my friends and I all went to Flux, which was a big Artitst event downtown somewhere. Most of it was outside, so it was mega cold.
May:
In may this blog was started. I also did a shirt for Shipshape clothing of an elephant and did an Illustrator design of a portion of the nine foot drawing. This piece would later become a flier for the creative treehouse. My friends and I also went to a Girl Talk show and danced our faces off.
June:
The band “Girl in the Closet” from
Texas commissioned me to create a logo for them. After I finished that, I began painting a drunken tattooed pink hippo on an old table I found in the neighbor’s trash. The table was unique because it had about 100 or so tiny little photos glued on it of different people. I also made an arcade machine printout that for my myspace that people could print out and construct. I had an art show at the
RexTheatre in Southside which was a pretty good time because I got to show my new piece of a grub tied to an octopus. Debris Magazine contacted me to do a banner for their site, and did a feature on my work, as did the website Lost at E Minor. My band played in Monaca PA at “SuperFriends 5” and crushed it hard. Everyone was real into it and dancing around which was good because their wasn’t a great turnout for the event. KP and I also went downtown to the Pittsburgh Art’s Festival and to another Flux event which took place right in the heart of Pittsburgh. We had seen a motorcycle get hit by a car that day, which in the end was still pretty crazy to see. No one got hurt. I also went to
WashingtonDC to all the museums and everything which was cool.
July:
I seen Transformers in the theatre and got super excited by the amazing visuals. I also bough a new Ipod, and seen the new Harry Potter and Simpsons movie. My buddy Aaron took me to see Interpol downtown too. I didn’t do much art this month. Only to the Southside works to do chalk drawings during their annual artist festival thing.
August:
Rob Larson from Destroy/ Destroyer and I got together to do a colab piece called Rampage. It uses his signature style of a cityscape in the background, along w/ the Ninteno Rampage characters I painted in the front. I also painted another monster on a aerosol can, which caused allot more problems than it was worth with my friend. A great movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theatres came out on DVD and was a great purchase. I did another shirt for Shipshape Clothing as well as a new painting of some roses. The local paper ran an interview of me talking about Mosley and I’s event, Doughnuts and Art 2.0 which happened this month. The lead singer of Doughnuts in November was also in the interview. I also bought a new car, and ’07 Hyundai Elantra.
September: Like every resident of
Pittsburgh at some point in the summer, I went to
KennywoodPark and later on, a Pirates Game. I was commissioned by Phoenix Entertainment to design a custom pair of Air Force Ones, and commissioned by a clothing company called With Open Eyes to design two shirts. I also went to the Improv at the waterfront for the first time ever, and to the Penguins Open House. When my Birthday rolled around, we took a Limo downtown and almost got in a fight with a racist DJ. We also had a party at my house, and a cookout and wiffleball game the next day. I did a painting of a crying face called “A young Good Looking American” and went to my friends art show, Conceived Bully”, at the Digging Pit.
October:
The band “The Devil Wears Prada” commissioned me to do two shirt designs for them. I also did another pair of custom slip on shoes for a kid in
Jersey named John.My pal Sean and I went to Sonics and ate like kings since Pittsburgh finally got one. I hastily got the tater tots as my side, but secretly wished I had gotten the fries. KP and I went to our pal Wamsley’s house to do a photo shoot for a piece he was working on. It involved me dressed like a killer clown and I had KP tied up about to do some killin’ on her. Our friend had a Halloween party, and in the afternoon that day we all went to watch Saw 4, which is now a Halloween tradition. Fresh Clothing commissioned me to do a shirt for them, and I also did a mural at “Your Moms” store in Bellevue. (Yes I know I’m spelling it different each time)
November:
Wamley’s photo piece of KP and I was entered into the Halloween art show at the Creative Treehouse. My band also played the event and I had some artwork on display as well. KP and I won the pumpkin carving contest and were rewarded handsomely w/ some candy, a free pizza, and a gift certificate for a fancy restaurant. The band “The Announced” commissioned me to do a shirt design for them. A friend of mine commissioned me to do a painting for his wife for Christmas. I also took some time for myself and did a painting of some badgers hanging out in a rose garden in the clouds. I also made a limited edition book called Husky Diver to give away with art purchases from my site. Lastly, I was contacted to include a piece in a “Vice’s” show in
San Francisco. My biggest vice is my bad mouth, so I painted and submitted a piece, called “Smartmouth that’s deece”. The show started today, the 2nd.
December:
I once again went to
WashingtonDC for the weekend with KP. My roommates started talk about making a clothing company called “I Shirt Myself”, which I did two designs for. I also created a logo for Chest Laser, Mosleys new online store which should be out early this year. I also did two different paintings of a purple bird, which I’ve named Morgan Freeman. He is currently having a comic drawn of him by yours truly. Lastly, I bought myself some new toys. An Ipod Touch and a new TV.
In other news..
Kp and I recently watched a movie called “Fido”, which is about a 1950’s world where the zombie outbreak has already happened and has been dealt with. The zombies were not killed… instead a company called Zomcor invents these collars that allow normal people to keep zombies as personal assistants and whatnot. Most houses have at least one zombie who does the yardwork, cleaning, and serving. However (as you can probably guess), the collars sometimes malfuntion and the zombies get mad crazy and start eating people. This isn’t in any way THAT kind of movie though. It’s actually a very refreshing take on the played out zombie movie. The atmosphere of the flick is very good, but personally, I feel that the movie suffers becuase it was made by Canadians.
The story revolves around a little boy who is kind of an outcast and his new friend, their zombie servent. I recommend checking it out. It’s at the movie rental store.
There are alot of new albums coming out next year, but only one you’ll need to care about. The band Doughnuts in November will be releasing their MUCH anticipated record here on American soil early next year. Up to this point, all their releases have only been available in their native land of Mexico. That all changed last month, when a merger between two of the biggest record companies in the business took place, allowing music from other countries into ours.
These actions did not come without sacrifices. Already losing two band members in the past, (Freddy Loser in a vicious knife fight outside a local club, and Dead End to malaria) Doughnuts in November had to be literally sneaked out of the country due to a public outcry of traitorism when they found out they were coming to America to record. The day before their 4 week burro ride across the border, the lead singer of DIN, Doug Dickens, almost was fatally wounded when an unknown assailant rigged his burrito with explosives. Fortunately, Doug was to busy pleasuring one of their numerous groupies and had skipped on lunch. The burrito detonated in his refridgerator and no one was injured. Another account saw their drummer, Astella Dios, with a three day hospital stay due to an attack from a moltov cocktail, which was dropped from a bridge while he was passing underneath in his camaro. The attacker was caught two days later by fellow band mates Finish Line and Maximum Buick, and was severly beaten. Courts ruled in DIN’s favor, and Finish and Maximum were let two with a paltry fine of 40 pesos and three hours of community service. The last, and most outrageous feat to stop the band was to their sole roadie, El Roadie Diablo Negro, from foreign dignitaries. While America and Mexico were discussing the merger, Europe, whom also wanted rights to DIN, invited El Roadie to an “all inclusive” vacation celebrating their success. However, upon arriving to Europe, El Roadie was quickly siezed and his four groupies (which is the standard number which accompany any member of DIN at all times) were shot on sight. Taken to a remote location, El Roadie was tortured within a mere fraction of his life for nearly four weeks for any information that would result in the inner colapse of the band. Standing fast, El Roadie endured hours of beatings, water torture, and starvation daily but never broke. He finally escaped after a clumsy guard forgot to re-tie one of his hands. El Roadie managed to untie himself and escape, but not before taking the lives of no less than 14 European guards, 3 horses, and 18 children.
Through much struggle comes much benifit however, as predictions claim that their album will be no doubt, the smash success of 2008 and possibly the first quarter of 2009. With a very grueling tour lined up of “at least 7 shows” next year, the album is expected to make the band 10’s of dollars. Stay tuned for further updates on the release of the album.
Last night on MSN Entertainment, I read that Britney Spears’ little sister Jamie Lynn Spears, 16, is preggers!!! WOW, can someone say red neck family?! I hope its baby-daddy isn’t K-Fed’s little brother…Although that would be hilarious, it would be completely pathetic! The only thing that would be better than that would be if K-Fed himself was the baby-daddy! YES! I’m praying it is! The true father of the baby has yet to be released.
On top of all this, their mom, Lynn Spears, is writing a parenting book…I have compiled a couple names for the book, maybe Lynn will be able to use one:
1.Pregnant? The younger the better!
2.Seemingly good career boosters that flop: babies
Since the holidays are right around the corner I figured it would be the perfect time to blog about some winter creatures…
Did you know that squirrels don’t hibernate?! I just learned this today. So, this winter, beware of any rabid squirrels while walking down the salted sidewalks and snow-covered paths. You just might find one jump outta the snow…how fun would that be!?
Furthermore, did you know that a polar bear’s skin is actually black and the hair that makes up it’s coat is hollow…how crazy is that?! That must be one thick coat of hair!
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