Archive for the 'Fast Food' Category

Alternative uses for popular website names(p.s. make money online)(p.p.s. allot of money)

Published by Matt Gondek March 26th, 2008 in zombies, Community, technology, Fast Food, facts and computers. 4 Comments

Every now and again, I’ll go to visit a site only see that the lame-o webmaster has forgotten to pay the bill, resulting in the site being pulled down (shinyfire.com).

I usually hop on godaddy.com real quick to see if the site name is available. If I was somehow able to get these site names….names that an ass ton of people visit every day anyway, I would be able to utilize that to turn a real profit. Well, today was my lucky day as I have aquired a few high profile sites. Below is the list and what I intend to do with them.

Yahoo.com - this will be turned into a site that will catalogue all know criminals that suffer from mental illness. Visitors will be able to punch in their zip code to find out how many yahoos live in their area as well as provide tips on how to avoid them.

Google.com - I plan on turning this into a non-profit charity site that takes the dyslexic (and other unfortunate souls who can’t spell to well) on underwater diving explorations. Visitors will be able to donate money via paypal that will go towards the trips, snorkels, flippers, and yes, even “googles”.

JohnChow.com - I will be turning this high profile blog site into a one stop shop for easy convienent meals that can be eaten while sitting on the toilet. Options include chicken fingers, fish sticks, and hoagies.

Arbys.com - This fast food chain’s site will be transformed into vast resource of information on Bees. Visitors navigate through the site by asking questions, allot like Ask.com. For example, one could type in “Arbys nocturnal?”. They would then be directed to the appropriate information. If you’ve ever wanted to know Arbys yellow with black stripes or black with yellow stripes, you’ll finally have a place to find out.

Microsoft.com - will be changed to an online support group for men with a rare condition where their penis is under 1 inch when flaccid. This will most likely be headed by client and internet celebrity, MrBaconPants.com

Whitehouse.com will remain a porn site.

Lucious white breasts

Published by Matt Gondek March 25th, 2008 in Pittsburgh, zombies, Fast Food, food and dinner. 12 Comments

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I’m not sure how Popeye, a stroke survivor (check his face) and aficionado of spinach, a food that I’m pretty sure I’m allergic to, has managed to emblazen his name on a chainstore that sells chicken. However, he has managed to weasel his way onto a product that will blow you down. It sure is tasty! While Popeye’s chicken will not grant you the temporary ability of super strenth, the kind to thwart Bluto as he tries to kidnap and rape your girlfriend, it will grant you temporary fullness and satisfaction for a low price. Best of all, one has opened up here in Pittsburgh, right in the Southside. I haven’t been able to make it out to this local one due to a severe leg injury with a wheat thresher, but if any of your people out there in internet land has, please share you’re experience. I’ll gladly pay you tomorrow for some chicken today.

Random things from this past week

Published by Matt Gondek October 19th, 2007 in Art, Fun, Illustrator, Gondek, culture, lifestyle, street art, Rock, Punk, Artist, future, china buffet and Fast Food. 0 Comments

As I go about my week, alot of different ideas for blog posts pop into my head. Unfortunately, not all of them can be fleshed out into a complete post. Therefore, I just mushed them all together, and got away with not having an actual decent post today. Hooray!

untitled.bmpScientists found this new breed of delicious looking Jelly Fish 3 miles under the ocean! I’m no oceanologist, but it looks comprised of an upper level of grape jelly. From there, we see the body, which is most likely some sort of orange glazed crab meat flavor, with just a hint of butter. Add that whole taste sensation, coupled with those crazy chinese noodle things dangling off of it, and you got yourself on hell of a dinner! There is a store in my hometown that sells diving equipment… I plan to go this weekend.

On my drive to work today, there was a blind man walking down the street with a seeing eye dog. He was dressed in a full suit… but his tie was crooked. It was so sad and funny at the same time.

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This is one of the two new shirt designs I did for the band “The Devil Wears Prada”. You can pick one up on their current tour with Chiodos… if you’re into that sort of thing.

All carrots were purple until the 17th century. Look it up

I have been working at my current job for 8 months, and every Thursday this one guy says to me “Is it Friday yet?”. Then he LAUGHS. Not conversational courtesy laugh like I have to do when he says it. This ol’ boy LAUGHS and LAUGHS and LAUGHS. He loves it. I want to be him.

Studies show the leading cause of pedophilia is sexy kids

Sonics is here!

Published by Matt Gondek October 16th, 2007 in Fun, restaurants, Advertising, Sonics, Reviews and Fast Food. 1 Comment

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For YEARS now TV has been teasing us Pittsburgher’s with commercials for Sonics, a fast food restuarant w/ thousands of drink combinations and greasy food.

I don’t know how many times my friends and I got into a conversation about why in the hell Sonics spent so much money advertising to a region where there isn’t any of it’s restuarants. That all changed Saturday my friends.

I first spied it when I went to the Millvale Mall on Thursday with my roommate. I was so happy I almost fell out of the car door. I called my buddy and let him know, and I could of swore his phone exloded with joy. We made plans to go on Saturday.

Saturday eventually rolled around, and we took the 45 minute drive out to the mall to feast like kings. Sonics is unique in that there is no actual building to eat in. It’s all pull up and order, and you eat in your car. Apparently everyone else in Pennsylvania was so happy we finally had a Sonics that they decided to eat there too. We had to wait in line.

When we got a spot, we were in fact bombarded with delicious combo selections, cool treat options, and the always promised husky drink choices. An added bonus was that they serve Tater Tots as well as the played out French Fry. I ordered a chiggen sammitch , tots, and a lime on lime slushee. Crazy Delicious.

I would recommend going to Sonics at least once a week for the rest of your life, or daily if you live closer

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