Archive for the 'Country' Category

Matt Gondek’s Bogus Journey. Part 1

Over the weekend, I travelled to Mount Pleasent PA to help my girlfriend and her mom set up and run a yard sale.

On the trip up there I wasn’t paying attention and missed the exit, resulting in getting lost. I stopped at a gas station to ask for directions, but the two kids working there ended up getting me more lost.

As I drove in the middle of nowhere, I spied a bar on the side of the road, so I pulled over and went in to ask for directions.

It was around 8PM, and there wasn’t anyone in the bar yet, except for the bartender. I explained my situation, and he proceeded to give me directions.

However, about halfway through this, his co worker came out of the back and all of the sudden I lost train of thought and could no longer concentrate.

Turns out I was in a gay bar. The guy from the back had to be at least fifty years old and about fifty pounds overweight. He wasn’t wearing a shirt. Instead he had leather straps that crossed over his chest and were attached by a big metal ring. He wasn’t wearing pants either. Only a tiny leather bikini.

I rule at life. Part two tomorrow.

The Adventures of Matt Gondek, Freelance Artist IV

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I’ve been in the design game now for alittle over a year now. Recently though, I’ve been getting requests for work overseas.

Obviously, I was excited. My work is going to be seen in other countries.

However, I forgot that I live under a rock. No one else in the world goes by inches, and no one else uses the dollar for their currency.

This poses as a problem for me. When I’m asking how big the final design is going to be, and they reply back with “A2″, it’s a change. Not to mention, when it’s time to pay the bill.

Fortunately there are websites that will do the conversion for you. My advise to any young designer out there is to read up on this stuff now, before the situation arrises. I could spoonfeed you the answers, but poking around on the net for a bit will get you the same results.

Just one more thing to know on the long road to mega rich art success business 100%

Pot calling the weed black

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Glaucoma and Cancer patients sure are lazy. Sure, they get all the medicinal marijuana they want, but now they don’t even have to drive around for a half hour in the bad part of town to get it. They can just use a vending machine.

2 vending machines that dispense medicininal marijuana opened in LA yesterday. Don’t think you can just walk up and get some though… The machines are in stand alone rooms and protected by security guards. To use one, you’ll need proof of your prescription, get fingerprinted, and have a pre-payed credit card thats loaded with your dosage. In the future, the machines also plan to sell Viagra, Vicodin, and Propecia.

Nuts

BIGFOOT!!!!! Wow!

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Rick Jacobs was spending some quality time in the woods with his camera hoping to get some hot voyuer shots of deer gettin’ in on, when he stumbled upon something almost as good.

This pic was taken 115 Miles north of Pittsburgh…and in my personal opion, this is without a shadow of a doubt BIGFOOT.

Alot of people are saying that it’s just a “bear” with “mange” but I know different. It appears to me that Bigfoot seems to be a health enthusiast. From the looks of the photo, I’m getting the impression that he’s stretching his calves out before a nice jog.

Maybe he dropped his keys or something.. Maybe… just maybe he’s digging a hole to hide some buried treasure. No one has any records of Bigfoot… maybe he’s a modern day pirate.

The point is, that definately isn’t a bear.

100 Young Americans

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http://www.100youngamericans.com/home.html

This is a link for an upcoming book that is due to release on October 30th. The book represents a year long project by Michael Franzini, where he traveled to all 50 states to find out what exactly it means to be a teenager in todays society. I’m only 25, and still couldn’t even imagine having access to a cell phone, myspace, or youtube when I was in school. I can’t imagine how their parents feel.

I browsed around the site, which offers up a few snippets of the book, and I was suprisingly intrigued by the whole thing. Michael didn’t just go out in search of one type of kid. He has captured the lives of the entire spectrum. Jocks, nerds, drug addicts… everybody. I read about a proud racist teenager who hates racial mixing that lives in a trailer, an 18 year old girl working as a prostitute, and a kid who is an internet celebrity due to his myspace. This book is going to be a must buy for me the day it comes out.

What a Taste

So yesterday my friends and I went to this china buffet. It had your standards staples like General Tso, sushi, and the like… However, as most china buffets do, it also had it’s “Weird chinese stuff table”. Here’s where you’ll find the Italian dressing covered squid tenticles. But, there was something there that I had never seen before. Chicken Feet.

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I tried it. I’m no food reviewer but let me say this. It tasted how it looks.

never again

The Future of America lies in Canada’s Hands

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By the year 2013, every American will have a blog, using it as their one and only outlet of communication. Their tongues will wither and become frail from lack of use, as will their bodies from the constant sitting and typing. Their slender bodies will become adorned w/ jewelry, accessories, and manicured nails from the constant push of the metro-sexual lifestyle. This heightened fashion sense will make sure that no one does any physical labor for fear of staining their designer jeans or losing an earring. The need for fisherman, police officers, and steel mill workers will die almost all together to make way for the new age where everyone either works for starbucks, apple, or an internet service provider.

In 2014, the technology age will finally catch on in Canada, as they are introduced to the internet, and ultimately, wordpress. By July the first Canadian blogger is born. He will write about salmon, mountains, and timber, which will be greatly ridiculed here in America. This will anger the entire country of Canada, who, after years of dormancy, all simultaneously cry “WAR”!

By August, Canada will invade the northern parts of America, quickly laying waste to North Dakota and Massachusetts. The American defense, which consists of defending their selves by swinging their laptops, is no match for the muscular arms of massive wave upon wave of ax toting lumberjacks all in black, red, and green, or as it will come to be know as, “War Flannel”.

Entire colonies of hipsters with be destroyed by the great bearded warriors from the north. They attack the towns coffee shops first… within hours the entire town is suffering from dehydration, and in their already weakened state, the axes slice through droves of them at a time.

In DC the call for action is not falling on deaf ears. The president, Wanda Sykes, is quickly addressed of the attack but is unable to coordinate any retaliation due to her still being on set of one of her four UPN sitcoms. It’s apparent they cannot use missles, due to the all the civilian casualties that would ensue, so they look elsewhere. To God.

Millions of American’s blog to God, begging for salvation from the massive Canadian onslaught, which is now currently tearing through Ohio and Vermont. Their posts prove no use however, as God’s Comcast connection has been down for several days, even though he spoke w/ three phone Techs and two different guys came to his house.

Within two weeks all of American is in ruins. The entire American population is dead, save for a few unlucky survivors who now are forced to spend hours upon hours teaching all Canadians about Widgets, Technorati, and how to make money online.

Within days, all American land is controlled by Canada. Canadians use their newly acquired resources to stop all labor, using the pre-existing American crops to survive. Within ten years, Canada is the world’s strongest blogging nation. Their entire country floods the internet with their posts about salmon, mountains, and timber. Their lack of physical activity takes it’s toll as the Canadians become more frail by the day. Meanwhile… Mexico sits and waits….

About the Making of TV Show “Lil’ Bush”: The Politics of Washington Seem Like a Schoolyard

Comedy Central Orders Lil' Bush For Next Year

 

Lil’ Bush: Resident of the United States” is a cartoon created by writer/producer Donick Cary (“Letterman,” “The Simpsons”). The idea started out as a series of five-minute cell phone cartoons for Amp’d Mobile in September 2006, and has now become a half-hour series on Comedy Central with two 10-minutes cartoons in each episode.

Lil’ Bush pals around with other young versions of his administration including Lil’ Cheney, Lil’ Condi, and Lil’ Rummy. Lil’ Tony Blair, Lil’ Barack Obama, Lil’ Bill Clinton, and all sorts of other lil’ political leaders have made appearances since the television episodes starting airing June 13, 2007.

If you go to Amp’d Mobile’s site promoting the series, you can watch a “Behind the Scenes of Lil’ Bush,” that contains a short interview with Cary. In it, he explains that he always liked the concept of “shrinking people down” and making them little versions of themselves.

Making a cartoon of a young Bush administration made sense to Cary because “on a basic level” the politics of Washington seem “so childish…it in some ways seems like a schoolyard or like kids just screwing around.” The narrow-minded and supremely confident judgments made by Lil’ Bush and his pals work because they are just innocent kids. It’s funny because you can disassociate the outrageous content of the cartoon (Lil’ Bush giving Bush Senior an Iraqi orphan called “Lamey…because he can’t walk so good” as a feel-good Father’s Day gift to make up for all the negative press coverage from Iraq, for example) from the real, more outrageous problems facing our nation on account of our leadership.

To create the show, Cary collaborates with a group of internet designers and artists from Bulgaria, one of them being a childhood friend. He explains, “It’s been sorta funny, uh, the translation of stuff, cause’ they don’t totally understand why you’d make fun of your president. They were sorta like ‘Isn’t that your leader? You all support him, right?’ And it’s like, n…ah, it’s kinda, you know, 30% of us do and the rest kinda just shrug, you know?” He stumbles through the interview trying not to be “too political” or perhaps, too honest about how the majority of Americans view the President.

I am sure the artists in Bulgaria are not the only ones perplexed by our reported overwhelming disapproval of the President and our endorsement of fake news shows like “The Daily Show” and satirical cartoons like “Lil’ Bush.” Part of living in a democratic state means questioning our elected representatives and having a system of checks and balances. However, have the politics in Washington become so unbelievably unbalanced that the only way to accept the reality is to think of it as fake? Are we accomplishing anything by laughing it off?

I’ll admit, I watch the entire Comedy Central lineup of “Lil’ Bush,” “The Daily Show” and “The Colbert Report” every week, and “Lil’ Bush” makes me laugh out loud – every week. I don’t know if I necessarily feel good about it though.

“Lil’ Bush” currently airs on Comedy Central, Wednesdays at 10:30 p.m., Eastern and Pacific times; 9:30, Central time.

The Washington D.C. Air and Space Museum

Although not an “art” museum, it’s still interesting to go and see these giant rockets, shuttles, and planes that people created to send people up into the air.

All those stories about how brave the astronauts were all true. As you stand in from of these giant monstrosities, you begin to notice how shoddy and poorly put together they look. They’re not smooth and round like TV suggests. They are all blocky, with pieces sticking out, and uneven surfaces that look poorly weilded together. I’d be crying if I had to go into outer space in one of these dang contraptions.

Still, it’s fun to check out this stuff, along with all the airplanes and helicopters they have. The museum has a large collection of space suits they used throughout the years, which is fun to check out too. Not to mention, the gift shop has space ice cream 8-)

I took pictures of the pretty looking ones. You can eye them up below.

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National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C.

The National Gallery of Art is a giant maze-like building of artwork from different time periods and cultures. Each room has about six or seven pieces, a couch, and a depressed security guard.

I don’t want to name drop, but where else can you get the fresh scoop on Rembrant AND Sabin in the same day? The National Gallery of Art in Washington D.C., or as I like to call it, the NGOAIWfuggin’DC. That’s where.

You can spend hours looking at everything there, or at least until 5pm, which is when it closes. They even have Picasso’s boyhood gift shop located conviently in the building. Now even you can buy a ton of prints from artists and pieces that are not even located anywhere near the NGOAIWfuggin’DC. That’s right.. all kinds of prints for sale of pieces not even in the museum, which is kind of lame if you ask me. It seems like the gift shop is BFF with Andy Warhol, whose museum is here in good ole Pittsburgh.. not anywhere NEAR the president’s place. Below is some photos I took at the musem. Enjoy!
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