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Peace Out Stinkface

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I thought of a great book idea for children. A corner of the market that is virtually untapped and just BEGGING for representation.

Urban youth with goofy nicknames that actually don’t like being called said nickname.

I present to you my book idea, called “Peace out Stinkface”.  It’s about a young boy who wants to leave his community because all his friends and family call him Stinkface. He doesn’t know it, but everyone calls him that affectionately. Ol’ Stinkface decides that he is going to run away due to the intense morose and turmoil he experiences daily, and lets some of his schoolyard chums know about his upcoming plans.

The chums devise a super sneaky going away party w/ balloons, cake, banners, and the finest tracks from the first Kris Kross album. When the party is sprung on Stinkface, he is taken back by the generousity and genuine sadness that his friends are dealing with due to his upcoming departure. This confuses him at first, but during the Kris Kross song “I missed the bus” he realizes that although he might have “a dumb ol’ nickname”, his friends and peers actually do care for him… even his teacher Mrs. Bucketbeard.

Stinkface realizes that moving away would be the wrong thing to do since he is already surrounded by people who admire and care for him. It’s a truly heartwarming tale that will teach the lads and lasses about the effects of namecalling, and also to put yourself in the shoes of the aggressor.

P.S. Yes this post’s artwork is a Matt Gondek original, thank you for asking.

Alternative uses for popular website names(p.s. make money online)(p.p.s. allot of money)

Every now and again, I’ll go to visit a site only see that the lame-o webmaster has forgotten to pay the bill, resulting in the site being pulled down (shinyfire.com).

I usually hop on godaddy.com real quick to see if the site name is available. If I was somehow able to get these site names….names that an ass ton of people visit every day anyway, I would be able to utilize that to turn a real profit. Well, today was my lucky day as I have aquired a few high profile sites. Below is the list and what I intend to do with them.

Yahoo.com - this will be turned into a site that will catalogue all know criminals that suffer from mental illness. Visitors will be able to punch in their zip code to find out how many yahoos live in their area as well as provide tips on how to avoid them.

Google.com - I plan on turning this into a non-profit charity site that takes the dyslexic (and other unfortunate souls who can’t spell to well) on underwater diving explorations. Visitors will be able to donate money via paypal that will go towards the trips, snorkels, flippers, and yes, even “googles”.

JohnChow.com - I will be turning this high profile blog site into a one stop shop for easy convienent meals that can be eaten while sitting on the toilet. Options include chicken fingers, fish sticks, and hoagies.

Arbys.com - This fast food chain’s site will be transformed into vast resource of information on Bees. Visitors navigate through the site by asking questions, allot like Ask.com. For example, one could type in “Arbys nocturnal?”. They would then be directed to the appropriate information. If you’ve ever wanted to know Arbys yellow with black stripes or black with yellow stripes, you’ll finally have a place to find out.

Microsoft.com - will be changed to an online support group for men with a rare condition where their penis is under 1 inch when flaccid. This will most likely be headed by client and internet celebrity, MrBaconPants.com

Whitehouse.com will remain a porn site.

Giant eagle is a giant bitch

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I only eat a handful of things. Ask my friends. It’s true

1. Chicken
2. Tuna
3. Peas
4. Corn

I’ve been like that as long as I can remember. I eat the same thing for lunch every day. Most of the time I get groceries at Wal-Mart. It’s probably the cheapest place around here to buy good food. However, today I made a mistake.

I was in a rush, and though that I could just “pop in” to the Giant Eagle because it was closer. Then I got really mad. Every single thing in Giant Eagle was ridiculously higher priced. A bag of chicken I get a Wal Mart for $6.00 was $11.00. The 69 cent can of peas and corn at Wal Mart was going for 97 cents at Giant Eagle. I already had the cans of vegatables and tuna in my cart. When I got to the chicken, I just left my cart in the middle of the freezer aisle and walked out. Giant Eagle is an asshole. They charge way to much for their food and EVERY SINGLE person that was working there was either over 70 or had a limb that didn’t function like normal. Their cartboy was in a wheelchair. I’m not kidding. That place has got some problems.

Also. ALSO. Little cards that you swipe at a store for discounts can suck my ass. Giant Eagle has the advantage card. I don’t see the advantage of being an exclusive member of a store which is unable to staff young able bodied people to stock the 11 dollar bags of chicken. I Hate Giant Eagle.

If you ever mention around me that you’re broke and later on I find out that you do your grocery shopping at a Giant Eagle, I’m going to punch you right in the stomach for being an idiot.

Circular Skating Fight Demons

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My pal Sean invited me to join him this weekend to go see a roller derby game. I’ve heard about Pittsburgh Roller Derby a few times in the past, but never actually knew anything about it, so I did some research.

Actually, my friend Amber sent me a link to their site.
http://www.steelcityderbydemons.com

The first thing I noticed when I went to the site was that it was all female skaters, which is kinda cool. They look really tough. Some of them look cute, but most likely would beat the tar out of me.

Turns out, Pittsburgh has 4 teams that play against eachother, as well as a traveling team which…. well.. travels.

The site has allot of info about this crazy ordeal, as well as a gallery of bruises and broken bones which is kind of gross. Tickets to the games are more than I expected. Not that $10 before, and $15 at the door is high, but I expected it to be less. I’ll keep you updated if I end up going to the game this weekend.

COLLISIONS

On the way to work today, I seen a school bus that rear ended a pick up truck. It pushed the truck across the road and into a telephone pole. It was intense like the circus.

In other news, I sure am sad. I’ve been seeing allot of people and organizations that want to promote “Pittsburgh Artists”. Why don’t they just promote “Artists”? Don’t get me wrong, I like it here.. but Pittsburgh doesn’t own me. Hell, I rent where I live. The world is a big place, and to be pigeon-holed into such a small tiny part of it kind of bums me out.

How to Display your Art on the Web

http://www.creepmachine.com/articles/best-ways-to-show-your-art-on-the-web.html

Here is a link to a great article that gives some tips on the best ways to show your art online. Once you read the article, browse around the rest of creepmachne.com a bit. They got some great content on artists and other interesting things.

Also, since it’s almost the weekend, here’s some fun photos to put a smile on your face and a giggle in your waste. Enjoi

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Make Money Online with my Friday Update$!

It’s Friday and that means I’m pilling up all the ideas I had for posts over the last week that didn’t flesh out! Enjoy

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Check out the new Academy of Sciences building!
This $484 million dollar museum in California looks amazing. It opens up next fall, but until then, check out these photos and read about how great this place sounds.

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Mark Jenkins - check out his work here  www.xmarkjenkinsx.com

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The Arrival - A painting David Choquette. This thing is just creepy!

Here’s a story about how a teenage girl run up a $10,000 phone bill for text messaging! She was texting a 1-900 number where you could text chat back and forth with “cool guys”.

Halloween Party at the Creative Treehouse

Tomorrow night at 7:00 PM is yet another amazing event at the Creative Treehouse in Bellevue. The Halloween Party.

There will be artists (including me, and my new work “Husky McNuggula”), 3 bands (including my band “Doughnuts in November”), and a pumkin carving contest.

Also, you can get in cheaper if you dress up… being a Halloween show at all.

 B.Y.O.B. is in full effect which means with every sip the music sounds better, the art looks cooler, and I become more handsome.

For more details, as well as the Address of the location, go here

Halloween Party Tomorrow Night!

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Check out the BarSmart.com promotion and find directions to the event

100 Young Americans

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http://www.100youngamericans.com/home.html

This is a link for an upcoming book that is due to release on October 30th. The book represents a year long project by Michael Franzini, where he traveled to all 50 states to find out what exactly it means to be a teenager in todays society. I’m only 25, and still couldn’t even imagine having access to a cell phone, myspace, or youtube when I was in school. I can’t imagine how their parents feel.

I browsed around the site, which offers up a few snippets of the book, and I was suprisingly intrigued by the whole thing. Michael didn’t just go out in search of one type of kid. He has captured the lives of the entire spectrum. Jocks, nerds, drug addicts… everybody. I read about a proud racist teenager who hates racial mixing that lives in a trailer, an 18 year old girl working as a prostitute, and a kid who is an internet celebrity due to his myspace. This book is going to be a must buy for me the day it comes out.


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