Archive for the 'china buffet' Category

I’m here for the sounds, not the pounds

Published by Matt Gondek April 9th, 2008 in Gondek, culture, zombies, Hillbillies, Bumpkins, Music, china buffet and health. 0 Comments

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Dear Fat Girl Standing beside me at the Day to Remember show.

Hello there. It’s been awhile hasn’t it? It was very nice standing beside you at the show a few weeks ago. Thank you so much for singing every effing word of every damn song as loud as you could and off key. I am sitting here torn miss… you see, I can’t decide which I enjoyed more. You’re miserable attempt of trying to sing the screaming parts in between bites of your cheddar cheese pretzel, or your giant flabby sweat soaked arm pressing against my side. It shows real character to keep singing, even though every single person near us was glaring at you.

I don’t know what I’d do without people like you at shows. I mean, sure I went to see the band perform, but hearing you instead was totally better. I have been contimplating fronting the money for alittle studio time for you. That way I could get you in there to sing overtop the vocals so I could enjoy it again and again. If only there was a way to make the disc smell like cheddar cheese and cigarettes. Do you have any suggestions?

In closing, it was my pleasure to spend 40 minutes standing beside you. I hope I can meet you again sometime so that you can ruin another experience for me.

Love,
Matthew Ryan Gondek

Scurvy Survey Action

Published by Matt Gondek January 30th, 2008 in culture and china buffet. 14 Comments

“How about today you write a survey instead of a blog post?” They asked. “Sure thing” I said. Then, I began writing it. So anyways, leave a comment with your answers. It’ll be fun, I promise.

1. Are you a guy or girl?
2. How old are you?
3. Have you ever been in a fistfight?
4. Would you rather be viewed as successful, or attractive?
5. Would you lose an arm for ten million dollars?
6. Mac or PC?
7. What are your three favorite bands?
8. Do you enjoy your chinese food in a fine dining atmosphere, or in a traditional buffet setup?
9. Have you ever eaten a chicken’s foot?
10. Have you ever been fishing?
11. What do you do for a living?

12. What’s the last thing you put in your mouth?
13. Why are you not doing something more productive right now?

New Albums of 08′

Published by Matt Gondek December 20th, 2007 in Fun, culture, Advertising, World, Violence, Capitalism, Tourism, Rock, future, china buffet and facts. 1 Comment

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There are alot of new albums coming out next year, but only one you’ll need to care about. The band Doughnuts in November will be releasing their MUCH anticipated record here on American soil early next year. Up to this point, all their releases have only been available in their native land of Mexico. That all changed last month, when a merger between two of the biggest record companies in the business took place, allowing music from other countries into ours.

These actions did not come without sacrifices. Already losing two band members in the past, (Freddy Loser in a vicious knife fight outside a local club, and Dead End to malaria) Doughnuts in November had to be literally sneaked out of the country due to a public outcry of traitorism when they found out they were coming to America to record. The day before their 4 week burro ride across the border, the lead singer of DIN, Doug Dickens, almost was fatally wounded when an unknown assailant rigged his burrito with explosives. Fortunately, Doug was to busy pleasuring one of their numerous groupies and had skipped on lunch. The burrito detonated in his refridgerator and no one was injured. Another account saw their drummer, Astella Dios, with a three day hospital stay due to an attack from a moltov cocktail, which was dropped from a bridge while he was passing underneath in his camaro. The attacker was caught two days later by fellow band mates Finish Line and Maximum Buick, and was severly beaten. Courts ruled in DIN’s favor, and Finish and Maximum were let two with a paltry fine of 40 pesos and three hours of community service. The last, and most outrageous feat to stop the band was to their sole roadie, El Roadie Diablo Negro, from foreign dignitaries. While America and Mexico were discussing the merger, Europe, whom also wanted rights to DIN, invited El Roadie to an “all inclusive” vacation celebrating their success. However, upon arriving to Europe, El Roadie was quickly siezed and his four groupies (which is the standard number which accompany any member of DIN at all times) were shot on sight. Taken to a remote location, El Roadie was tortured within a mere fraction of his life for nearly four weeks for any information that would result in the inner colapse of the band. Standing fast, El Roadie endured hours of beatings, water torture, and starvation daily but never broke. He finally escaped after a clumsy guard forgot to re-tie one of his hands. El Roadie managed to untie himself and escape, but not before taking the lives of no less than 14 European guards, 3 horses, and 18 children.

Through much struggle comes much benifit however, as predictions claim that their album will be no doubt, the smash success of 2008 and possibly the first quarter of 2009. With a very grueling tour lined up of “at least 7 shows” next year, the album is expected to make the band 10’s of dollars. Stay tuned for further updates on the release of the album.

Random things from this past week

Published by Matt Gondek October 19th, 2007 in Art, Fun, Illustrator, Gondek, culture, lifestyle, street art, Rock, Punk, Artist, future, china buffet and Fast Food. 0 Comments

As I go about my week, alot of different ideas for blog posts pop into my head. Unfortunately, not all of them can be fleshed out into a complete post. Therefore, I just mushed them all together, and got away with not having an actual decent post today. Hooray!

untitled.bmpScientists found this new breed of delicious looking Jelly Fish 3 miles under the ocean! I’m no oceanologist, but it looks comprised of an upper level of grape jelly. From there, we see the body, which is most likely some sort of orange glazed crab meat flavor, with just a hint of butter. Add that whole taste sensation, coupled with those crazy chinese noodle things dangling off of it, and you got yourself on hell of a dinner! There is a store in my hometown that sells diving equipment… I plan to go this weekend.

On my drive to work today, there was a blind man walking down the street with a seeing eye dog. He was dressed in a full suit… but his tie was crooked. It was so sad and funny at the same time.

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This is one of the two new shirt designs I did for the band “The Devil Wears Prada”. You can pick one up on their current tour with Chiodos… if you’re into that sort of thing.

All carrots were purple until the 17th century. Look it up

I have been working at my current job for 8 months, and every Thursday this one guy says to me “Is it Friday yet?”. Then he LAUGHS. Not conversational courtesy laugh like I have to do when he says it. This ol’ boy LAUGHS and LAUGHS and LAUGHS. He loves it. I want to be him.

Studies show the leading cause of pedophilia is sexy kids

What a Taste

Published by Matt Gondek October 8th, 2007 in Fun, culture, Country and china buffet. 3 Comments

So yesterday my friends and I went to this china buffet. It had your standards staples like General Tso, sushi, and the like… However, as most china buffets do, it also had it’s “Weird chinese stuff table”. Here’s where you’ll find the Italian dressing covered squid tenticles. But, there was something there that I had never seen before. Chicken Feet.

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I tried it. I’m no food reviewer but let me say this. It tasted how it looks.

never again

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